: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
