i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
