dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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