Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So many bounce houses so little time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Who died my cat blue again?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
