just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
