new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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