Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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