I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
