Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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