remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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