so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think people are normalizing furries
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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