I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
