Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
false alarm, still single
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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