theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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