You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
