So drunk its hurt
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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