I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
