He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
