I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
