I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
