ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
