The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
