So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
