I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
