you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
