I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
