Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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