3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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