true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
