Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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