I am puke
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
