I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
