It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
