well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
