the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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