My room smells like vodka and shame
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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