I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
