there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
