ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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