She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
