i don't plan on having that self control this summer
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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