She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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