What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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