i think my tv is drunk
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
