Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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