KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
