Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
