Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
