is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
