I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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