All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
