Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My vagina just clenched in fear
false alarm, still single
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
